Even after being born in the southern most part of the country, Kerala! I have always been fond of Bollywood...it will not be an exaggeration if I say I have watched Hindi movies more than Malayalam ones! I did that, and it made me happy!
Been a fan of #SRK since childhood, even before I could remember!
More than films I used to be a cricket fan back then, #MSD being my favorite ever!
The day when I came to know his biopic is gonna hit the big screens, I can say I was the most excited fan ever!
Then when I saw the posters and trailers I got to know that Sushant Singh Rajput is playing that role! I recollected my memory of seeing him in Kai Po Che some 2-3 years back and also in Pavitra Rishta even before that!
I hoped if he could do justice with the character, but still I doubted that!
But once when I saw the movie for the first time, (obviously I have seen it a hundred more times since then) I was left spellbound 😍
I couldn't see Sushant anywhere in that movie, I could only see Dhoni 😍
I was surprised with the work he has done...that where possibly could that charming, energetic and always smiling fellow hide behind the boots of this calm, composed and serious man! It was amazing...❤️
Later I saw this stunning man in PK and Chhichhore before he took his last breath!
I felt cheated when I heard the news of his suicide some one week after I saw the movie Chhichhore 🥺 I was left in shock and tears!
As I was an emotional fool, it hit me hard!
I couldn't talk to people for two days, eat or sleep properly, with his news kept coming on my facebook, twitter and insta newsfeeds I was even terrified to open any of them! I try to shut myself from the world for a while, I kept weeping over time and again whenever I saw something related to him, When my friends tried to console me all I could wish was if he could have got a single friend who cared for him, a single friend who could console him the way they do to me!
The whole world started to feel like a big lie to me,
I stopped believing in happy faces,
I had severe trust issues,
I could no longer believe in the sole idea of happiness,
It turned out that films are fake, all of them are!
Because the guy who taught me to fight against suicide, just ended his life on a knot!
I wish people could have been a bit more caring, a bit more sensitive and above all a bit less fake😞
Sometimes I feel that he left so early because within this short span of time he achieved everything that he could possibly can or ever dreamt of!
May be, even after getting all those he found himself sad! He must have felt that he failed himself, he couldn't find the happiness he always logged for! And may be that's when he took his own life!
Then again, he didn't thought it necessary to pen down a "Suicide Note" , May be he doesn't wanted to blame people, he doesn't wanted to be discussed and investigated further, he doesn't wanted to...🙂
Gem of a Person he was!
The last thing I could remember thinking of him is his innocent smile🦋
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