When will you start acting your age?

When will you start acting your age?

Would be the most frequently asked question to my face. I have always been childish around the people I am most comfortable with.

I am that super-clingy child who wants almost everything that's kept under flashy lights whenever I enter a market or a mall😁

I can even cry for that anytime, anywhere🤭

I am that innocent kid who smiles widely at everyone who throws a slight smile at me.

I am that attention-seeking child who starts crying the second she feels like she is being ignored,

I am that stubborn kid who will not talk to you if I see you giving more importance to anyone else than me,

I am that sensitive kid who can burst into tears if someone I love looks at me with anger😞

I am that innocent child for whom a hug from her mother can set everything straight in seconds.

If something is mine, then it's mine! Periodt!

I am 26 years old, but still a child. 

I don't want to act my age, I am perfect the way I am, and this is exactly how I am supposed to be at my age!

If growing up means growing grumpy, I don't think I want to do it.

~Cheerachi

Me at Marine Drive, Mumbai

Miserable as it is!

Don't you think we are a weird generation of weird people?

We say we love people out of love.

But it's not like that,

We love people, who were there for us when we were breaking down.

we love people who helped pull back our shits together.

we love people who helped ease our pain.

we don't love people who laughed with us, No we don't.

we love people who cried with us, people who can relate to our pain.

we love people who are broken, just like us.

So next time when someone says they love out of love, tell them that it's not love they are longing for, it's companionship. It's just the feeling of having someone who understands your miseries as much as you yourself can.

Ours is a broken generation, which bonds over sorrows and stays together because of the fear of falling apart if we don't.

As miserable as it seems! 

- Cheerachi

     Pic Credits: Dheera Sasidharan (@itscheerachi)

I: Musings!

       Pic Credits: Dheera Sasidharan (@itscheerachi)

 I know I have changed.

A lot as a person.

I don't laugh at the same kinda jokes anymore, 

I don't talk to most of the people whom I used to call my best friends a year ago. 

A year has made a lot of difference, indeed.

I don't cry for people leaving me anymore,

I don't care too much about life anymore,

I just sit idle most of the time, doing nothing.

I don't talk as much as I used to,

I don't laugh with the same enthusiasm anymore,

Am going with the flow, trying to survive.

People don't excite me anymore for some weird unknown reason.

It's been ages since I have seen my eyes twinkle when I smile.

For the same reason, I have stopped taking photos.

I have stopped reading books, which I have brought with utmost love and eagerness.

I have lost count of days since I smiled genuinely.

I actually don't remember the last time I felt at
home.

All I need is a hug, a long tight one, one which will probably reduce me to tears.

I need one such 'coz I have stopped being myself.

~Cheerachi

I believed my life was mine until...

I believed my life was mine until I lost one of my best friends

The moment I heard that news and the moment I had to believe it, would always remain two of the most painful ones in my life.

How do you put that feeling into words when you realise that a person whom you have known for more than 20 years of your life won't be there in your journey ahead?

He won't be there to tease you anymore,

You won't hear him call you stupid names anymore,

You don't need to expect him at your doorstep on any random day ever again,

You don't need to check out on his house every time you pass by to see if he is there in front of it or not, 

You won't get to see his innocent eyes flutter with his childish smile, 

You won't get to see him ever again! Not in this life!

All you get to see is, him turning into ashes! And you know that sight is going to haunt you until you breathe your last.

After the latter, my life changed forever and I couldn't do a thing🙂

Now I couldn't laugh to the fullest, every laugh I ever had since that moment ends in a delusion, a constant conflict with myself asking me the same question that if am I really happy?

And the answer always comes as a smirk on the corner of my lips that gradually fades into a frown.

I believed my life was mine until I realised it wasn't actually mine

Every single person I love remains the owner of it.

It's not like that I don't love others as much as I loved him, I do!

But nobody can replace another person and the void that he has left behind will forever bleed within.

Does that mean life would stop when someone close to us departs?

No, it won't!

Life must go on, no matter what, the only difference is that I am left in constant fear of losing someone, every second, every moment for the rest of my life!

You promised me that you will be there to see me succeed and then you left!

You are a cheater Peece🙂

I know I am a brave girl, I know I can fight this through but then again ...

Sometimes it feels like I can't do this anymore, 

I can't pretend to be okay when I am all broken inside.

I can't pretend to smile when all I want to do is cry my heart out.

I can't stop thinking about you when all I am left with is your thoughts.

I can't really wake up one day and move on like nothing happened when deep down I know my life would never be the same.

I have lost a friend whom I know would always be there for me no matter what!

They say self-love is important and I do agree.

But love those who are important to you without setting bars, because tomorrow isn't promised 🙂 Tell them how you feel for them, because you may not get a chance in future.

#Cheerachi will always love you #Peece ❤️

2020: A year which got misinterpreted.

I have seen people saying that 2020 is the worst year.

Is that so?

I used to think the same too, until that point where I realized that it is the other way around.

That  2020 is one of the best years indeed because reality is always harsh and bitter than our imagination. And when reality hits hard in order to ignore the mental trauma of accepting the truth, it's a human instinct to not accept that and remain in our imaginary world by blaming others to be mentally safe. 

That's exactly what seems to be happening here with 2020.

2020 indeed made us all prisoners in our own homes, it even closed all our doors to interact with people and forced us to shut everyone out who was so close to us all of sudden. We were left with little choices to make and more precautions to take, for us and for the collective good of humankind as well.

This was the first time that we were given the chance to sit at home in the comfort of our couches, doing nothing, and still save the world. And we did it too.

But the aftereffect of this was devastating, suddenly taken away from our social life and friend circles impacted so many people and even made them victims of depression.

And that's exactly when we started pointing fingers towards 2020 for being a lame year.

You know why most people become depressed? 

At some point or the other, the truth is that 2020 really showed us who is real and who will remain real forever...

Who actually cared for us and who were pretending it all...

What was actually meant for us and what never was...

It showed us the bitter truth of life that everyone starts forgetting you once we stop meeting them in person. And for most of us, this lesson was a huge one to be accustomed to in such a short span of 8 months and it did break us, every single one of us.

But let's keep our grudges aside and try to bring out the positive in it. It's almost the end of December and we are almost done with 2020. Looking back to this extraordinary year, which we will all remember till the end of our lives, 

I am a little bit more optimistic towards life at this point, 

I am proud that I made it through this hard time even though broken, I am never shattered,

I know whom to trust and whom not to anymore,

I know who loves me for real and who never did,

I know time and distance play a major role in every relationship and I learned to value my parents more for all the things they have done for me and loving me unconditionally regardless of me being anywhere in the world.

Maybe 2020 was harsh, but it surely taught us some serious life lessons indeed.

                 Pic Credits: Google

Bye Bye 2020

Thank you for the lessons, I will always cherish you!

#Cheerachi 

Wakanda Forever!🖤

 

                                   Pic Credits: Marvel Cinematic Universe Facebook Page

From the very first time, he said "Wakanda Forever" I know I was already in love with this man!

He said forever and left like there is no more forever! How can he do this?
I know you are a fighter Chadwick!
You fought for 4 years and gave us movies to remember for a lifetime, you were in pain and still managed to make us smile.
Never been a fan of superhero movies, but after watching avengers the two people who struck me were the Iron Man and Black Panther!
More because of the wonderful humans they are in real life!
King T'challa was a real-life hero too.
One of those videos that I have seen of Chadwick, where he interacted with his fans, mostly the African-Americans, one could see the kind of human he was and the level of inspiration and influence he had on his people!
One among the few people to represent the community in big screens around the globe with a superhero image!
They dearly loved him and thanked him for making them believe that people like them could also be Superheroes, they could stand with their heads high and watch the world around them change for better.
They truly accepted him as their King, not for the delusional role he played but the way it inspired millions of their children to believe that heroes can be among themselves too.
The way the film portrayed their women to be powerful, not because they were in anger or sorrow, but because they were powerful from within.
I believe he will always be remembered as a true king among his people, who made them believe in themselves and made them proud of their identity once again! 

Chadwick Boseman, 2020 has become more of a nightmare than a year! But I am happy that you are away from pain!

Rest in Peace would be too short a line to bid you adieu so I would better say Rest in Power, King!
28 August 2020

Wakanda Forever 🖤

NB: To those who don't know,
Black Panther is the first Marvel film with a predominantly black cast. It became the first comic book and superhero film to be nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards, as well as the first film in the MCU to win an Academy Award.
Beyond his film appearances, though, Boseman is widely known for his community work and being an activist combating racial injustice in America and around the world. 

#Cheerachi

For more details visit:

Chadwick Boseman: Black Panther star dies of cancer aged 43 - BBC News

Remembering the life and legacy of Chadwick Boseman | Charlotte Mecklenburg Library (cmlibrary.org)

MS Dhoni decided to call it a day from International Cricket!

     Pic Credits: 99 Graphics Facebook page

Let's just, keep aside those heavy statistics of match-winning and those innumerable moments that he made us proud!

Today, let's just talk about the kind of human being he is! The kind of aura he possessed that reflected through the kind of relationships he kept on and off-field!

One of the most celebrated duos of Indian Cricket is undoubtedly weaved between Yuvaraj Singh and Mahendra Singh Dhoni. They are arguably the best batsman duo on-field and were best friends off-field too those days. They understood each other better than anyone else and this understanding let the scoreboard moving for India when the openers failed. The duo that won numerous matches just by holding on to each other, those moments of them hugging each other with huge smiles and teary eyes after all the big win just flash before my eyes even today. Stories of their bond resonated from the videos of both having each other's back in dressing rooms, parties, and press conferences! Later something happened and suddenly everything turned upside down! There was clear visibility of changing equations between the two, and I still feel it disheartening to see them 'act like' nothing has happened yet we all know everything has changed! Post their hard twist, both become more reserved, more quiet, and a little more sad every day! 

Like I have read it somewhere "When a friendship ends it's not you who is losing me or me who is losing you, It is us losing us"

And I feel it every time they talk about each other! Hope everything will be back in place one day, and I will be able to see the much happier, much prettier, and the best version of Yuvi-Mahi! ❤️

   Pic credit: Yuvaraj Singh Twitter handle 

Moving on to the second one whom I personally felt, kept a very special bond with Mahi is the present Indian Skipper Virat Kohli. This bond is more of a kind of guide or elder brother more than a friend! Kohli always speaks high about Dhoni whenever he talks about him, he openly admits how he looked up to him being one of the most brilliant cricketing brains of the nation and a successful captain! Unlike others, every insta post Kohli shares about Dhoni clearly reflects the respect he has for him. He often talks about the amount of trust and faith he has on Dhoni that while batting together he won't mind running between the wickets with a blindfold if Dhoni asks him to do so! And this trust can be seen whenever they came up together, like going for a two instead of one if Dhoni urges to do so. The way both communicate with just smiles and nodes on the field is a treat to watch. Kohli says Dhoni is the one person from the team who understands him and helped him pushing his limits during the early days of his career, which he is forever thankful to him. 

Kohli always keeps stressing the line "He will forever be my Captain" as a token of respect and admiration. 

 Pic Credit: Suresh Raina Instagram handle

The third and most important person, I would choose is Suresh Raina. 

Minutes after MS Dhoni announced his retirement from international cricket, Raina joined him. 

"We had already made up our minds to retire on Saturday. Dhoni's jersey number is 7 and mine is 3 - put it together and it makes 73. And on August  15, India completed 73 years of Independence, so there couldn't have been a better day. After announcing our retirement, we hugged and cried a lot." these were Raina's words after retirement.

   Pic Credit: Chennai Super Kings Instagram handle

The whole cricketing world was left in shock and tears, yet I just wish everybody deserves a friend who backs them up like Suresh Raina backs up MS Dhoni. He just defined a new dimension for friendship. There will always be a lot of people who promise to be there for you but a few who actually prove it through their deeds. I would say, Dhoni-Raina is friendship goals! This southpaw never failed to be there for Dhoni ever since they met. From being bachelor friends to married ones and finally to be father's, they did it all together. Whether it is the pics of Gracia and Ziva enjoying each other's company or Priyanka and Sakshi cheering for them on galleries, they set a once in a blue moon kind of friendship goal!

I wish everybody deserves a Raina in their lives actually, the world needs more of Raina's to be a happier place! To celebrate his friend's success than himself, to back you up in every twist and turns of life, to lend a hand in testing times, and at last to sustain.

    Pic Credits: Google

They say "Indian cricket enjoyed one of its most successful phases when MS Dhoni was the captain of the side" but I would rather choose to say MS Dhoni enjoyed the best of friendships when he played for the Indian side ❤️ ✨

#Cheerachi

For more details Visit:

MS Dhoni announces retirement from International Cricket - Cricket News - Sportstar - Sportstar (thehindu.com)

MS Dhoni retires from all international cricket (icc-cricket.com)

Suresh Raina reveals reason behind him and MS Dhoni choosing 15 August to announce retirement - Firstcricket News, Firstpost

Suresh Raina announces retirement - Sportstar (thehindu.com)

Kerala: An inhumane state full of Humanity!

 Pic Credits: Facebook

You could call this a clear breach of COVID protocol, 

You could say that we are the dumbest group of people,

You could say that literacy doesn't mean intelligence,

You could...

But we would still choose to do it a thousand times over and again,

For us, 7th August 2020 is the darkest day in ages! But still, it is the greatest reminder that why Kerala is called "God's Own Country".

Amidst this corona and heavy rain, people who rushed for the rescue operation earlier today in the landslide affected areas of Rajamala, Idukki, and later to the plane crash scenes in Karipur, Malappuram is a symbol that nothing comes between Keralites and their humanity in the time of atrocities like this!

Those people, I wish to call them heroes, they could have chosen to remain in their own homes, watch the live telecast of the disasters on TV screens thinking "why would they put their lives in risk for people whom they don't even know", and sigh for what has happened!

But they didn't...

They choose to fight back, as we have always had! 

They rushed to the disaster scenes quickly and in large numbers, they made work unimaginably easier for the NDRF, Fire Force, and police officials, because they know that it was their duty to do so.

Just a reminder that this is the same Malappuram which you guys accused 2 months back for being inhumane! 

The people who ditched our State for "feeding" crackers to a pregnant elephant even when that was an accident, couldn't even imagine the risk these people have taken today! So refrain from preaching humanity to us in future.

In Rajamala, they could have lost their lives during rescue operations, as the area is prone to another landslide anytime!

In Kondotty, the place being a containment zone, there is a high-risk for COVID 19 social spread!

From the long queues for blood donation in hospitals that started from the time of disaster and extended to early morning in Malappuram to the people who wholeheartedly came forward to give food in the late hours to the passengers of the planes which were diverted to land in Kannur International Airport post the plane crash in Karipur, they are the actual face of Kerala.

Because for us, humanity comes first, even before religion, even before our own life and comforts!

Proud to be one among these people, proud to have born and brought up here amidst them, proud to get inflicted upon these moral values of humanity before anything else! 💖

For the ones who are praising us today, please don't take the pain, we don't need support from people who praise us for time being and ditch us when something unfortunate happens! Keep your appreciation to yourself! Kerala really doesn't care!

Do you know what Kerala is going through these days?

• Corona

• Landslides

• Heavy Rain

• Flood

• A major plane crash

Still, we are fighting! United! 

You may think that we will perish due to this stupidity, one day maybe, but till that day we will stay united and shall perish United! 💖

Yes, we do eat beef!

Yes, we are more secular than you will ever be!

Yes, we are communists and congressmen but will never support BJP!

Yes, we do exist!

PS: Sorry if I have ever been arrogant, but this is just a frustrated Keralite fighting against the hypocritic society!

#Cheerachi

For more details visit:

Air India Express praises people of Malappuram who rushed to help Kozhikode air crash victims- The New Indian Express

Kozhikode air tragedy: Air India Express thanks Mallapuram residents for kindness, humanity (livemint.com)

View: Kerala plane crash response shows how locals play key role in disaster management - The Economic Times (indiatimes.com)

What Harry and Hermione taught me!

I have been a Potterhead for a long time now...

Not because the imaginary world and magic fascinates me, but because of the way it teaches us the value of relationships be it that of friendship, love or even enmity, it says about them all!

Harry and Hermione being my treasured lesson!

----------------------------------------------------------

They taught me that a girl and boy can be together their whole life and still remain friends...

They taught me whatever the hell happens if you hold on to your friends, then you could have all the power to change the world!

They taught me even though how weird and hopeless you are to the rest of the world, you will always have your best friend's  back...

They taught me to trust each other and have faith in each other even while doing the dumbest of things...

They taught me how best friends stand up for each other in  demanding times...

They taught me if you are the "better than the best" kind of friends, how  you understand each other even without saying a word...

They taught me to cope up with mood swings of your bestfriend and forgive each time they do something wrong out of a bad mood...

They taught me that it is possible to find a home in someone away from your real home...

Hermione taught me to choose your friendship over love when he needed her the most...

Every time when Harry hides something Hermione comes up with a "What is it Harry?"

Every time he takes a step to go all alone she comes up with a "I'll go with you"

Harry taught me how a boy can make his friend smile even when she is going through hell...

How a boy understand the slightest change in her behaviour when she is sad...

How he will go miles to keep her safe and fight for what she deserves...

At last they taught me how much every Hermione needs a Harry to be complete and vice versa!😍

Can't deny the fact that it is a wonderful feeling to know that you have someone who will stand by your side through all the ups and downs, through all those stupid decisions you have took so far and will take in the years to come, through all the smiles you will ever have and all those tears you will ever endure!

After all Friendship is its own brand of a powerful magic!✨

#Cheerachi

Those Sparkling Eyes...

Even after being born in the southern most part of the country, Kerala! I have always been fond of Bollywood...it will not be an exaggeration if I say I have watched Hindi movies more than Malayalam ones! I did that, and it made me happy!

Been a fan of #SRK since childhood, even before I could remember!

More than films I used to be a cricket fan back then, #MSD being my favorite ever!

The day when I came to know his biopic is gonna hit the big screens, I can say I was the most excited fan ever!

Then when I saw the posters and trailers I got to know that Sushant Singh Rajput is playing that role! I recollected my memory of seeing him in Kai Po Che some 2-3 years back and also in Pavitra Rishta even before that!

I hoped if he could do justice with the character, but still I doubted that!

But once when I saw the movie for the first time, (obviously I have seen it a hundred more times since then) I was left spellbound 😍

I couldn't see Sushant anywhere in that movie, I could only see Dhoni 😍

I was surprised with the work he has done...that where possibly could that charming, energetic and always smiling fellow hide behind the boots of this calm, composed and serious man! It was amazing...❤️

Later I saw this stunning man in PK and Chhichhore before he took his last breath!

I felt cheated when I heard the news of his suicide some one week after I saw the movie Chhichhore 🥺 I was left in shock and tears!

As I was an emotional fool, it hit me hard!

I couldn't talk to people for two days, eat or sleep properly, with his news kept coming on my facebook, twitter and insta newsfeeds I was even terrified to open any of them! I try to shut myself from the world for a while, I kept weeping over time and again whenever I saw something related to him, When my friends tried to console me all I could wish was if he could have got a single friend who cared for him, a single friend who could console him the way they do to me!

The whole world started to feel like a big lie to me,

I stopped believing in happy faces,

I had severe trust issues,

I could no longer believe in the sole idea of happiness,

It turned out that films are fake, all of them are!

Because the guy who taught me to fight against suicide, just ended his life on a knot!

I wish people could have been a bit more caring, a bit more sensitive and above all a bit less fake😞

Sometimes I feel that he left so early because within this short span of time he achieved everything that he could possibly can or ever dreamt of!

May be, even after getting all those he found himself sad! He must have felt that he failed himself, he couldn't find the happiness he always logged for! And may be that's when he took his own life!

Then again, he didn't thought it necessary to pen down a "Suicide Note" , May be he doesn't wanted to blame people, he doesn't wanted to be discussed and investigated further, he doesn't wanted to...🙂

Gem of a Person he was!

The last thing I could remember thinking of him is his innocent smile🦋 

#Cheerachi

Being Emotional is Okay!

Being sensitive or emotionally weak is never easy!

Whenever something horrible happens, you feel left alone. People always tell you to get over it, to not to be obsessive of your emotions, even not to create fuss over little things at times. But only you know deep inside how it feels, no matter how many times you try to keep that thought away and be happy, eventually it will come back to you haunting. Life feels miserable at some point with nobody to actually understand what is happening deep inside you. I am so sensitive that even phrases like "committed suicide" and "slaughtered like animals" frightens me, like how can someone "commit" suicide ? Suicide is not a crime!

What does "Slaughtered" like animals means? How can someone slaughter animals? Don't they breathe? Or is that their lives doesn't matter?

You see, I have this overflow of emotions at night. Some little thing that is buried deep inside my heart that even I don’t understand and I guess it has to do something with the nights especially! They come and hit me so harder in the nights and literally snatch away my sleep. And all I can do is nothing but “CRY”.

But being an emotional fool has its own advantages and disadvantages. Being emotional is a sign that you empathize for people, you care for others, it is a reminder to yourself that you are a good person, far good for these people to even understand.

Over all these years the most important thing that I  learned for myself is that deliberately avoiding the things and memories that makes me sad will never help me get past it. I prefer to stay in places that frightens me because life will move on but memories wont change, the past wont change, what I have been through wont change, only thing that changes will be the time. But for me, I prefer to stay back at that point where I was shattered, broken down to pieces...

Stay there for as long as that I feel like now it doesn't make any difference even if I choose to stand there or move on! 

I always try to get attached to those memories to the extent where it becomes a part of myself and no longer holds the power to hurt me. Since every time something weird happens, for example someone dies who matter a lot to me, a part of me will always cherish them rather than trying to get rid of their memories. A part of my heart will always try to keep them alive within me. I know this sounds stupid, but this actually worked for me.

Life begins there...at that point when you no longer care what others say!

So stand still, raise your head, fight your emotions!

If you fail... Stand Again, try, try and try until you succeed!

I know it is the hardest of fights that one will ever have,

to fight with yourself...

to fight with your emotions...

But I do this every day, every minute, every second of my life! I choose it for myself!

Now, Being Emotional is Okay!

#Cheerachi

    Pic Credit: Vishakh Kunjumon (@auteur_ayna)