Those Sparkling Eyes...

Even after being born in the southern most part of the country, Kerala! I have always been fond of Bollywood...it will not be an exaggeration if I say I have watched Hindi movies more than Malayalam ones! I did that, and it made me happy!

Been a fan of #SRK since childhood, even before I could remember!

More than films I used to be a cricket fan back then, #MSD being my favorite ever!

The day when I came to know his biopic is gonna hit the big screens, I can say I was the most excited fan ever!

Then when I saw the posters and trailers I got to know that Sushant Singh Rajput is playing that role! I recollected my memory of seeing him in Kai Po Che some 2-3 years back and also in Pavitra Rishta even before that!

I hoped if he could do justice with the character, but still I doubted that!

But once when I saw the movie for the first time, (obviously I have seen it a hundred more times since then) I was left spellbound 😍

I couldn't see Sushant anywhere in that movie, I could only see Dhoni 😍

I was surprised with the work he has done...that where possibly could that charming, energetic and always smiling fellow hide behind the boots of this calm, composed and serious man! It was amazing...❤️

Later I saw this stunning man in PK and Chhichhore before he took his last breath!

I felt cheated when I heard the news of his suicide some one week after I saw the movie Chhichhore 🥺 I was left in shock and tears!

As I was an emotional fool, it hit me hard!

I couldn't talk to people for two days, eat or sleep properly, with his news kept coming on my facebook, twitter and insta newsfeeds I was even terrified to open any of them! I try to shut myself from the world for a while, I kept weeping over time and again whenever I saw something related to him, When my friends tried to console me all I could wish was if he could have got a single friend who cared for him, a single friend who could console him the way they do to me!

The whole world started to feel like a big lie to me,

I stopped believing in happy faces,

I had severe trust issues,

I could no longer believe in the sole idea of happiness,

It turned out that films are fake, all of them are!

Because the guy who taught me to fight against suicide, just ended his life on a knot!

I wish people could have been a bit more caring, a bit more sensitive and above all a bit less fake😞

Sometimes I feel that he left so early because within this short span of time he achieved everything that he could possibly can or ever dreamt of!

May be, even after getting all those he found himself sad! He must have felt that he failed himself, he couldn't find the happiness he always logged for! And may be that's when he took his own life!

Then again, he didn't thought it necessary to pen down a "Suicide Note" , May be he doesn't wanted to blame people, he doesn't wanted to be discussed and investigated further, he doesn't wanted to...🙂

Gem of a Person he was!

The last thing I could remember thinking of him is his innocent smile🦋 

#Cheerachi

Being Emotional is Okay!

Being sensitive or emotionally weak is never easy!

Whenever something horrible happens, you feel left alone. People always tell you to get over it, to not to be obsessive of your emotions, even not to create fuss over little things at times. But only you know deep inside how it feels, no matter how many times you try to keep that thought away and be happy, eventually it will come back to you haunting. Life feels miserable at some point with nobody to actually understand what is happening deep inside you. I am so sensitive that even phrases like "committed suicide" and "slaughtered like animals" frightens me, like how can someone "commit" suicide ? Suicide is not a crime!

What does "Slaughtered" like animals means? How can someone slaughter animals? Don't they breathe? Or is that their lives doesn't matter?

You see, I have this overflow of emotions at night. Some little thing that is buried deep inside my heart that even I don’t understand and I guess it has to do something with the nights especially! They come and hit me so harder in the nights and literally snatch away my sleep. And all I can do is nothing but “CRY”.

But being an emotional fool has its own advantages and disadvantages. Being emotional is a sign that you empathize for people, you care for others, it is a reminder to yourself that you are a good person, far good for these people to even understand.

Over all these years the most important thing that I  learned for myself is that deliberately avoiding the things and memories that makes me sad will never help me get past it. I prefer to stay in places that frightens me because life will move on but memories wont change, the past wont change, what I have been through wont change, only thing that changes will be the time. But for me, I prefer to stay back at that point where I was shattered, broken down to pieces...

Stay there for as long as that I feel like now it doesn't make any difference even if I choose to stand there or move on! 

I always try to get attached to those memories to the extent where it becomes a part of myself and no longer holds the power to hurt me. Since every time something weird happens, for example someone dies who matter a lot to me, a part of me will always cherish them rather than trying to get rid of their memories. A part of my heart will always try to keep them alive within me. I know this sounds stupid, but this actually worked for me.

Life begins there...at that point when you no longer care what others say!

So stand still, raise your head, fight your emotions!

If you fail... Stand Again, try, try and try until you succeed!

I know it is the hardest of fights that one will ever have,

to fight with yourself...

to fight with your emotions...

But I do this every day, every minute, every second of my life! I choose it for myself!

Now, Being Emotional is Okay!

#Cheerachi

    Pic Credit: Vishakh Kunjumon (@auteur_ayna) 

The Stone Bench: A winter story from CUPB

 When the whole campus is shivering with cold, when the days becomes short and night never ends,  when each and every student is seen in woolen attire; that's when we realise that the winter is already at the doorstep. When everybody get back to their rooms as early as possible there are still some creatures who stand unchanged by the blood freezing winter. Yes, you guessed it right. The stone benches that lay at the nook and corner of the Campus!

Those benches that once used to be the platforms for charming friendships, blossoming young relationships, numerous fights and endless talks lay still, motionless and alone during these cold nights. The students used to sit here for hours chit chatting with each other regardless of day and night, even till 9.30 when the girls has to enter their hostels and the campus become lifeless. There was a time when no space was left to sit and people wait for others to get up so that they can aquire those places.But now, since the winter have arrived nobody is seen sitting on them merely after 6 in the evening. It is a symbol that how well people abandon things once they are done with it or how well they move on leaving behind those memories that they are uncomfortable with.

Under this cold starry nights, these benches lay frozen between the trees just like the way a corpse lie surrounded by a group of people who would probably forget it once it is buried.

#Cheerachi

     Pic Credits: Dheera Sasidharan (@itscheerachi)

J & K Bifurcation: An Archived Opinion

To all those people cheering loud for the new integrated India...

To the ones who are celebrating the 73rd so called Independence day of the country...

I just want to ask you something...

Have you ever had a Kashmiri roommate? Have you ever seen them crying for their Homeland?

Have you ever felt within yourself the sense of helplessness of not being able to talk to your own parents for weeks?

Do you have any idea how it actually feels to get  treated as  second citizens in one's own "Integrated Country"!

If not, then you...you are the person I want to sat down for a discussion!

It's been more than 70 years since Kashmir has been added to the territory of Independent India! Or else I must say It has been 7 decades since we are using their geographical land for defense and tourism.

Then again...even after 73 years of staying United if the Kashmiri people aren't able to recognize themselves as one among as then it is shame on us! It is shame on our government! Our government has failed to give them that sense of belonging. Keeping aside those written privileges that they have been enjoying since then, every Indian will admit that the way Kashmiris are treated in India is no less than a foreigner.

Before getting offended, just get your facts clear...a Kashmiri resident is not even eligible to buy a sim card using his/ her identity from any other states in India excluding Jammu and Kashmir. Wow... Incredible India! Right? Is this the way a country treats it's citizen's? And that too one which claims to be a  democratic country?

Keeping the prominent Political leaders and bureaucrats in house arrest, cutting all the communication facilities, establishing curfew for time undetermined and assigning an average of 7 soldiers per common man is the so called liberal way of integrating a nation? The decision of their lifetime has been taken and is implemented on them forcefully.

What does integration in it's true sense means?

Call me an emotional fool but I must say Kashmir is not about it's land...it is about the people. Human Resource is the greatest and most productive form of resource any developing country can ever have. Unless and until the people in J&K don't agree with the very idea of 'Integrated India' , this country can never be considered United.

A bill that is opposed by half of the population of a country has been unanimously passed by the ruling party in the parliament, that itself shows the basic concept of democracy has failed in this country. I am not here to talk about the Pros and cones of this decision, but I must say that the way it is been implemented is the worst one any democratic country can follow.

#Cheerachi

    Pic Credits: Dheera Sasidharan (@itscheerachi)

Cheers to the Flood...

Way back to home was a dreadful journey....

A journey that lasted more than 12 hours. A journey that changed my life for ever...but surely for better. My life would never be the same as before... because coming out of the safe zone and watching things going out of control was something that I had never experienced in my 20 year long life.

Erattupetta to Punalur...roads seemed longer than it was ever before.

The way back from hostel was unpredictable and risky at the same time, but it was now or never. So, I decided to pack my bags and get along with the flow. I had to pass through Alappuzha in my journey, Alappuzha, the land known for its scenic beauty and backwaters, which was now turned to be a tragic scene, due to the heavy rain prevailing for more than 3 months. All I could see was water, wherever eyes travels. The sunken lives of Kerala ...

But deep inside a voice reminded me one thing that am till date proud of, "This is Kerala, and we will overcome"

#Cheerachi